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How do you read about a 17 year old male who thinks

"Wow, I had a horrible life threatening disease that required me to remove 20% of my body if I wanted any chance of surviving. You know what I should do? Go spend ten dollars on cigarettes that I won’t smoke just so I can tell people about this totally cool metaphor I made up. That way they’ll know I’m cool and smart and edgy even though my leg is fake."

And respond with “wow what a realistic, down to earth character, i could totally relate to him and i believe that there are actual real life people in the world who think like that.”

animalstalkinginallcaps:

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M A “ONE-UPPER”?

I MEAN THAT YOU EXAGGERATE OR OUTRIGHT LIE, NOT ONLY TO MAKE YOURSELF SEEM FAR MORE INTERESTING THAN YOU ACTUALLY ARE, BUT ALSO OUT OF A MISGUIDED SPIRIT OF COMPETITIVENESS AND/OR ENVY. THAT YOU WILL NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO JUST ENJOY SOMEONE ELSE’S EXPERIENCES AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS BECAUSE IT ERRONEOUSLY MAKES YOU FEEL INFERIOR, SO YOU FABRICATE WIDLY IMPROBABLE TALES TO SUIT YOUR NEED FOR SITUATIONAL DOMINANCE. THAT IS WHAT I MEAN BY THAT.

I DON’T DO THAT.

I’D ARGUE, BUT I HAVE A DATE AT 5:30 AND I NEED TO GET READY.

WELL THAT’S FINE WITH ME, BECAUSE I HAVE TWO DATES AT 5:30.

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